It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
