wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
