Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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