Already got asked if we're dating
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
