I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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