and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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