im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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