The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
