The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
