When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he fucked my hip out of place.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
