My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
