there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
