i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
