I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
