I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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