I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
