i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
