Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so let's talk penis.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
