dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
