That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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