she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
