Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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