It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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