I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
