she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
