I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
now i know why i became what i already was.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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