Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she smelled like a LAN party
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
