I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
