I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
