he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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