My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
