in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I AM VODKA MAN
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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