you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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