That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
