My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
