i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
