The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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