You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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