the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
