fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
