You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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