You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
