Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
