i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
