It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
