Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
