I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
