Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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