Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
