Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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