i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
