I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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