it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
